“I started writing a poem the other day
About wanting to thank my ex boyfriend
For giving me a spine
And teaching me to stand up for myself
Because I’ve always believed in silver linings
But I stopped writing it because I realized I was just lying The truth is I’m still as spineless as I was when our relationship began
I never walked away from you
You walked from me
And I think that says a lot About character When your abuser Finds you boring Wait-
I don’t want to write another poem about you
The trees weren’t cut down
So I can write your autobiography
And read it to strangers like scripture
You were supposed to be a chapter
Not the whole goddamn book
And I think that says a lot about character
When I’m still writing about old news Last year,
I spent the summer in my therapists office Where she started saying things like
Bipolar, Depression,
Anxiety,
Suicidal
PTSD,
Self harm,
And as she’s reciting the diagnoses to my parents,
I’m sitting on the couch thinking,
“You were right. I’m fucking crazy, but you know, shit happens, it builds character.”
But now I’m thinking
I’ve built up my character enough To the boys who found out about you,
And pretended to be nice
Because they knew I was vulnerable And saw me as damaged goods
Not good enough to date
But good enough for a night
I want to say fuck you
You knew I was going through hell
And you used that to get your fix
But I can’t blame you Because I used you too
I wanted you to fuck the numbness out of me
As if that were even possible I’m not going to lie to you and say that I found a spine while writing this poem
I mean, fuck,
I don’t stand up here because I’m whole
I stand up here because I think snaps and applause will somehow
Fill the void you left behind
I’m still damaged goods”
— Damaged Goods by Orianna Valentina (via sappy–bullshit)
"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries."
