- Ally: On our date he opened my car door for me!
- Deidre: Oh my God, you're going to make me puke.
“Where are we going?”
“I’ve been following you.”
“Dammit. Let’s ask that gorilla for directions.”
“Are gorillas indigenous to this area?”
“I’m not really sure. What kind of birds are we?”
“I think we are peacocks.”
“No, I think we are ostriches.”
“Then how can there be a gorilla?”
“We could be at a zoo or something.”
“I think the guy writing our dialogue took more of those pain pills.”
Rebloging forever
THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT
Non Newtonian fluid ayyy
my friend just texted me and said “hey peasant” and i said “hi???” and she replied “it’s a tumblr thing you wouldn’t get it”
i :) actually :) want :) to :) be :) killed :)
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i can’t stop laughing omfg i love drake so much
do you guys whisper italics in your head
because i do
When you saw this on Saturday you knew shit was about to go down on Disney.
(source)
Note how the most important facet of this story is not how she swam out and physically saved two people from drowning in a riptide at the risk of her own life, but that during the course of heroic physical activity in an outfit not designed for it, a tit slipped out.
Really? A nipple? A nipple made an appearance when she was dragging her son and a woman twice her size out of strong currents?
WELL HOLY SHIT, STOP THE MOTHER FUCKING PRESS
